Day 1 - PAINTING EXTRAVAGANZA

If you've ever been to North Platte, Nebraska (odds are you haven't), you know that you have few choices as to what you want to do. I mean, I could go down and watch the trains get sorted, but... why? That said, I now realize that the best way to keep myself busy is by doing things for my Grandparents. I woke up, and heated up a frozen omelet. They don't really cook here. The have a lot of frozen food. Then I did my daily blog. Blogging around here is not a trivial deal. I have to get up before my Grandma, make breakfast, go to the computer, get on Gmail, open up a Blogger window, then type my blog in my e-mail, then paste it in Blogger. It's all a precautionary measure to make sure my Grandma doesn't read my blog. Which, in reality, it would probably be easier to not care, and let her read it, but I like feeling skanduhlouz and sneaky. So, I'm not.
Anyway, after breakfast, my Grandad informed me that we would be painting their porch. I had nothing else to do, and I like painting, so I agreed to help. First, I had to sweep the porch. Then vacuum it, then mop it, then Grandad sanded it, I swept and vacuumed it again, and then we had to put wood filler in the cracks, then we had to let that dry, and then Grandad sanded it again, which was followed by me sweeping and vacuuming, and then finally, we were ready to paint it. The former color of the porch was dark forest green. When my Grandad opened up the can of paint, the brightness of the green kind of kicked me in the face. It's like neon sea foam green. The trim on the house is a sage-y color, and clashed rather dangerously. But, I did it anyway. And after we were done, it was actually kind of cute. It grew on me. Nonetheless, we are repainting it the same dark green, today. As the paint was drying, Grandma asked me if I wanted to go to the store. When people ask you if you want to go places around here, you say yes. No matter where you're going. So, we went to the store and got some juice, bananas, lettuce, dog treats, and ketchup. I also got a "treat", as my Grandma says, of Dulce de Leche yogurt. I'm so spoiled. We also picked up some green and some brown spray paint, with which we were going to paint the kitchen trashcan, and the porch chair. When we got back, we did so. After that, my Grandma suggested that we go take a walk around the park. I got Beryl, and we got in the car. When we got to the park I saw a herd of attractive young gentlemen, who all seemed to be staring at my Grandma and I. Then we walked around the length of the park a couple times, and returned to the car. Then my Grandma gave me the ol' "Tour of the Town." As you would expect, there's not much here. There are some fancier houses, which I did not know. But fancy is a relative term. When we returned home, my Grandad suggested that we play Scrabble, which is what they play every night. They know all those random two letter words, like Xi, Oo, Aa, Om, Ex, Ef, etc. And, needless to say, they won. I did, however, have a seven letter word: Sleighs. So, that was the highlight of my day.

Oh, yeah. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows came out, and I don't have it. That was the low...light(?) of my day.

Nebraskan Mayhem!

My grand adventure started out as most grand aventures do - very boringly.

I arrived at the airport around 11:00ish, and I checked in my bag, and did the whole security thing, and said goodbye to my parents, and Wes. Which was quite sad, really. He's so cute. He cried when I left. After this is where I got a slightly confused. I walked along till I found my gate, C14, and noticed there were no seats. All those losers, and their kids had taken up residence in my seats! Injustice! So, I went and got a smoothie, thinking that some of the people would need to leave, and I could snag their seat. When I got back, some of the handicapped spots were open. Screw the crippled, I wanted to sit down. So I did. There were three empty seats next to me, and this business man came and sat down in the one farthest from me. Then his two other friends came over and started talking about silly business things. Like "she keeps micromanaging things that don't need to be micromanaged!" And other jargon. Then I decided to go to the bathroom. But those over sized gold cart things that shuttle people to different gates kept getting in my way. Actually, I was just sort of walking in the middle of the "road" (it's not a road, but I can't think of a better word) and they'd yell at me: "MISS! MOVE PLEASE!" And they'd have to yell that like, eight times before I heard them. And then everyone would look at me like: Stupid girl who doesn't know exactly what she's doing. Which was true. I didn't know quite what I was doing. Then, I boarded the plane, and my seat was 31-F, so I headed on over to the very back of the plane. I had the window seat, but ANOTHER business man had taken it! Foiled again! By Businessmen! Then he kind of looked at me and said "Oh. You have this seat." And I was thinking: "Obviously. Why would I be standing here if that wasn't my seat. It's not like I want to sit by you." So we did the awkward seat-change-shuffle thing, and I was good to go. Sort of. There was one thing that supremely bothered me about sitting in that seat: I didn't have my copy of the SkyMall. I love SkyMall. More than any aspect about flying in a plane. There are so many useless things. Like... hot dog cookers, and Buddha statues, and remote controlled sharks. WHO WOULDN'T WANT THOSE!?!?? So there I was. Sitting next to a grumpy businessman, with no SkyMall to keep me entertained. It was looking pretty bleak. I got out my "Guns Germs and Steel" book, and tried to read that. Ha, no. Not happening. Then I got out my iPod and listened to that for a while. Then I stared at the clouds. (are you jealous yet?) The flight attendant came around offering everyone their complementary drink. Mr. Businessman was all bothered because he had to move his arm to pass me my water. He gave me this look like: Curse you for being thirsty! I had to move 8 muscles for you! We landed in the city of Omaha at approximately 2:30. I followed everybody else to the baggage claim area, where I was greeted by my Grandma. We proceeded to wait for my luggage. When I acquired the suitcase, we walked outside so my Grandad could come get us. When I got in the car, my grandparents asked me what I wanted to do in Omaha (actually, I just wanted to go to their house) but nothing was open, so we just drove around for a while. We ate at Farmhouse Cafe, and our waitress kept getting lemonade and water confused. Then we started ourlong journey to North Platte, Nebraska. Which is five hours away from Omaha.

There's not much between Omaha and North Platte. There's a size able amount of semi trucks, about 10 Rest Areas, and a couple gas stations. And corn. And beans. And alfalfa. My Grandparents poitned out the difference between those three crops. Then the greatest thing ever, happened: I saw a semi truck that looked exactly like Optimus Prime! Flames and all. It was the exact shade of red, and blue. I'm pretty much convinced it was Opimus Prime. Shut up. I can dream, can't I?

After about five hours of excruciatingly boring driving. We arrived at the Pressnall Manor. Er, my Grandparent's house. I got my things. Stumbled into their backroom, fell on the bed, and fell asleep.

Things I Shouldn't Have Said #1

(While watching the trailer for Across The Universe)
Dad: "That song sounds like a wannabe Green Day"
Me: "You just proved how culturally inept you are."

"Yes! I'm so glad you got Transformers for your birthday! Now Optimus Prime will have someone to play with!"

"SARCASM! It's for people who pretend to have a sense of humor!"

"Whore! Get out of my seat and make me a Chicken Pot Pie!"

"Transformers and Harry Potter are equal in my mind."

Official Review For Transformers

As I was reading through my blogs, I realized I had not done my Official Review For Transformers. It is as follows:

I walked into Transformers with unnecessarily low expectations. I figured it be some oddly represented, inaccurate, feature-length Waste Of Time. I was so wrong. The movie starts out strong: Blackout (a Decepticon) attacks a military base in Qatar in the first ten minutes. From there we transition to Sam Witwicky, who really wants a car, and a girlfriend. (Which won't fix all your problems, by the way.) His Dad helps him buy a used car, which turns out to be Bumblebee. Bumblebee had his voice box "damaged in battle" (direct quote from Optimus Prime) and has to talk through the radio. Sam soon realizes that his car is not the usual "I got it from the used car lot, and it came with a free steak dinner" car. It can (are you ready for this?) TRANSFORM! I know! Sam, understandably, freaks out upon learning this. However, Bumblebee saves them from some other Decepticon I can't remember the name of, and introduces him to Optimus Prime, Jazz, Ratchet, and Ironhide. Meanwhile, the Defense Department is in a pickle. Somebody is trying to hack their system. BUT WHO?!???!
A "comical" duo of hacker discover that it not a country that is hacking the government's system, but rather, other-worldly lifeforms. Optimus Prime tells Sam all about the All Spark Cube (a cube that can bring technology to life), Megatron (an exceptionally evil Decepticon, who wants the All Spark for ill intentions), and the importance of Sam's Grandfather's Glasses (the coordinates of the All Spark were accidentally etched into his glasses). Sam and the Autobots must go on a Quest for the All Spark, all the while, the Defense Department continues to learn what we already know. I'm not going to tell you the rest of the movie, because you need to see it. Oh, and that girl. I don't think she's important enough for me to include her.

The action sequences are glorious. Really. The plot is kind of unnecessary. I would be quite alright if there wasn't any plot. I mean, all the plot does is tie the action sequences together.
Opitmus Prime is as dignified and bad ass as I had imagined. (Except when he removes his mouth-plate thing to reveal his moth, he looks a little like a gorilla.)

There were only a few things that bothered me:
1) Ironhide was never hardcore in the series. Optimus Prime usually told him to go away and report back to Cybertron.
2) I really wanted Unicron to be involved.
3) That girl.
4) Scorponok is a Terrorcon, and the failed to mention that.

Other than that, it was spectacular.

People Who Bother Me

I wrote this a while ago. Back when Gerald Ford died. I'm glad that whole thing is over.

Some famous people deserve their fame, others deserve fame, and don't get it. And then there are those who don't deserve it, and have it. These people never cease to amaze me. I found seven people who baffle me the most.

Queen Latifah - Oh, Queen Latifah. You're so unnecessary. And confusing. Where do I begin? Well, let's start with your name. If by chance I were to know you personally, would I call you Queen, or Latifah? Both are the epitome of idiocracy, as far as names go, so I suppose it really wouldn't matter. Or perhaps the people close to you call you by some sort of pseudonym. Like Dana. Anyways, Ms. Latifah, what have you done lately? According to IMDb, you've made a truckload of terrible movies that my Mom would like. It also says you were a human beatbox for "Ladies Fresh", and were a female rapper of some sort. But all of us whippersnappers are too young to remember that. AND it says you were in the movie "Country Bears", which is the worst movie made in the last five years, hands down. Seriously, I was babysitting and had to sit through the whole thing, because Camden wanted to watch it. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to bite my veins out. Okay, anyways, I'm not too sure why you're still famous. You might be a great actress, but who would want to sit through a movie like "The Cookout" to discover that. I've never seen it, but with my Mom and her "let's watch every terrible movie, ever!" thing, I'm sure I will. Also, you're hosting the People's Choice Awards. The 3rd least respected awards show ever. Right after the Kid's Choice Awards and the Teen's Choice Awards. As if people know what's good or bad. People are stupid. Especially in masses. So I'm assuming the exec's at People's Choice Awards came to you, after being rejected by Crazy Tom Cruise, Tyra Banks, Brooke Hogan, and Flavor Flav.

Marilyn Manson - Before you kids get mad at me for defaming a potentially great musician, you have to understand something. I only have 3 fears: Dinosaur skeletons, large dead animals that have been stuffed, and Marilyn Manson. He's so hellishly creepy looking. I think it's the differently colored eyes. Anyways, at the moment, his only claim to fame is: he married and divorced a stripper. Supposedly he's a normal guy, but his skin tone leaves me to beg to differ. Also he's making the movie "Phantasmagoria". Go look it up.

Justin Timberlake - I hate to break it to you, ladies, he's really not that great looking. Not ugly by any means, but I get this weird Eminem vibe from him. You know those guys who wear wife beaters, khaki pants/shorts and maybe a fedora, because they're classy. Not only that, didn't he used to be in like, N*Sync? I was never a part of that whole "boy-band" craze. I thought they were all terrible. I still do. So, I guess my first impression of him, which was "what a fag" stuck.

Bono and U2 - Now if you want to find selfish pride, look no further than Bono. I know what you're thinking: "But, Adrienne! He went to Africa and helped starving children!" Yeah. Sure. As if he cares. It's all a publicity stunt. Why else would a terrible band like U2 be popular? People are all like "If I buy this U2 CD, I'll be indirectly saving the world." No, you won't. You'll be giving Bono more money to buy hideous glasses. Also, we have that ridiculous name thing going on again. I bet his real name is like Derby. Derby Johnson. But he wanted a "rockin'-cool" name, like... BONO! If I were him I'd change it to something like Laser Death. Not Bono. That sounds like some gross Indian food with too much curry, that your Mom made, and you have to eat it, because otherwise she'll get discouraged and never make anything new, ever.

George Lopez - You tell me something funny George Lopez said that was funny, and I'll show you the magical rainbow pig that lives in my garbage.

Gerald Ford - This is really more about how famous his death was, rather than how famous his life was. From what I understand, he was never officially elected President. He was appointed when Nixon resigned. That's why they call him the Accidental President. I don't know about you, but that doesn't sounds like a respected title to me. I don't think he was a bad president, but I'm not like, 70-something, so I wouldn't really know. But he was 93 years old. That's what old people do, they die. That sounds heartless, but the media is treating like it's never happened before. Not only that, he's been dead since he died. I don't need anymore "Special Updates" on his death. He's not getting any deader. But if he rises from the grave and goes on a mass killing spree, then you can tell me.

Janet Jackson - I feel bad for people like her. Clinging to their last thread of fame like a starving Guatemalan child clings to his last bowl of rice. This is one person I think needs to retire soon. She's like 45. Not that that's old, but for her genre, it is. Also, I'm pretty sure she can't sing. She has lovely voice enhancers to help her.
She also has the "gotta have a much plastic surgery as possible." Their whole family seems to have that problem. She looks like an alien. A heavily airbrushed alien. She needs to go retire somewhere remote. Like... Vermont. And start playing professional pool, and very slowly become the world's greatest pool champion ever. And then she can have her fame back.

My Blessing, and My Curse

Before I start on my little tirade, I'd like to say that I love Mac, and all things Mac. Specifically MacBooks. Everything is so sleek and shiny.

But that does not absolve them from making me extremely frustrated.

For my birthday, I acquired a Video iPod. When I plugged it into my very old iMac, a nice little pop-up kindly told me that the iPod won't work unless I have iTunes 7.3. But in order to download that, I have to have QuickTime 7, and in order to have that, I'd have to upgrade my whole operating system to Mac OS 10.4. (I had 10. 3) Because my parents are cheap, they don't buy new computers, just new software. But OS 10.4 comes in DVD format, and my computer doesn't have a DVD reader. That posed quite a problem for me. I could either buy the DVD, send it back to Apple, with ten dollars, and get the CD version. Or I could wait till I got my MacBook, or I could try and find some place that sold just the CD version. Well, fastmac.com had the CD version, so I bought it. Then, a few days later, I received a polite little email informing me that my coveted software was... out of stock. I proceeded to bang my head against my desk in frustration. They said that I could change my order to the DVD, and it would come with this mysterious "CD back-up" that would fix all my problems. At that point, I just stopped caring. I told them to switch my order, and hoped for the best. A few agonizing days later, my software arrived. Apparently, CD back up, is the DVD burned onto CD's. Which, really did fix all of my problems. In an hour or so, I had successfully (for like, the first time ever) installed OS 10.4.
Because the new operating system doesn't come with the new iTunes, I had to go to Apple, and download it myself. After a while, I clicked on my now blue, iTunes icon, only to be greeted my a soft little alert noise and a pop-up saying that I need to have 10.4.7 to be able to use it. This required me to go back to Apple.com and download the entire 170MB of 10.4.10. (Which I thought was just like, 10.4.1, but, it's actually 10, and thus, higher than 7.) After four hours, I was starting to download my songs to my iPod. This took place yesterday. I received my iPod. It took me two weeks to set up my iPod. Speaking of which, all the album art is messed up. When I click on The Strokes - First Impressions of Earth, I get the album art for Atreyu - A Death Grip On Yesterday. Which is utterly, and completely wrong.

Why must I go through all of this? Because my Dad refuses to by anything un-Mac. Which is a blessing and a curse. I love all Mac things, and yet, they can be so mind-numbingly frustrating.

Curses upon you, Steve Jobs! May you break both your legs!

And on top of that, Blockbuster didn't have the original Transfomers: The Movie. Which is sad. Because that movie is better than cheescake. Which is quite delicious. (Whenever I spell 'delicious', I have to sing that part from "Fergalicious", otherwise, I end up spelling it 'delisicoiuisois' or something.)

Optimus Prime Vs. Megatron

Yeah, okay, so. My vacation sucked. That's all that you really need to know.

Anyway, most of you probably know. I really love Transformers. Particularly Optimus Prime. However, last night, I was trying to fall asleep, and thinking "Is Optimus Prime really better than Megatron?" I mean, obviously, I like Optimus more, but is he really that amazing?

So, here are some different things you could judge Transformers on. (I'm talking about the original series not the new, probably gay, movie.)


Appearance:
Optimus Prime is red, white, and blue. Normally those colors look very... American when put together. Optimus, however, doesn't. Also, if I had to pick the best looking robot, I would pick him. He's so manly looking. Almost fatherly. Megatron on the other hand, is gray. Not silver, gray. And his face is very scary/stupid looking. Also, it looks like he has a mullet.
Winner: Optimus Prime

Transform ability:
Optimus Prime can transform into a semi truck. A really amazing semi truck. With missiles, and such. Not only that, but he can run over things, and nothing stands in his way. Megatron can turn into... a gun. I'm serious. Just a gun. I guess it's pretty big, but still. It like, defeats the purpose of being a Transformer.
Winner: Optimus Prime

Leadership:
Prime. He's like their adoptive father. All the Autobots have extreme respect for Optimus. Not only that, but everyone loves Optimus. Megatron had a mutiny led against him by Starscream. And no one likes Megatron. And are probably very glad that he is not their father.
Winner: Optimus Prime

Mottos:
Optimus Prime's mottos include: "Autobots, Transform and roll out!" "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." and "No sacrifice is too great in the service of freedom." I don't really know what that last one means, but it's inspiring nonetheless.
Megtron's mottos include: "Peace through tyranny!" and "Lesser creatures are the playthings of my will." Those just make me want to punch him in the face.
Winner: Optimus Prime.

Name:
Optimus Prime's name sort of reminds me of steak. And eyedoctors. However, it's so... great. I mean, he has two names. And him saying "I AM OPTIMUS PRIME!" is unmatched. Megatron, is also a very cool name. Mega means super big/great and Tron is really robot-y. But I get Megatron and Cybertron confused. And Cybertron is a planet. So. Yeah.
Winner: Tie

Other:
Optimus Prime had a girlfriend. Her name was Ariel. I think the closest thing to a girlfriend Megatron has ever had was Shockwave. Not only that, but Megtron, and the Decepticons in general, have never, ever won. Also, Wikipedia says that Optimus has no equal in power or intelligence.

So I guess he really is that great. I love you, Optimus Prime.