Cool Things Happen When You're Being Stupid

Okay, so this was probably the highlight of my day, which is pretty sad, really, but I guess it could be worse. Like the time where the best thing that had happened that day was getting an accidental call from this burly sounding black guy, who was asking about a Trans Am. I think that's a car. Yeah. Anyway:


I was sitting in my room, organizing my iTunes playlists, when my computer froze, because I was trying to upload the UFO CD to my computer while simultaneously making playlists, and my computer can handle so many tasks at one time. And it particularly doesn't like uploading CDs. So, I had to Force Quit iTunes, and let it start back up again. In this distraction, I noticed a bottle of Windex placed on my nightstand. Out of boredom or curiosity, I picked it up and started reading the label on it. I'm a big fan of reading labels. How else would I know that Lysol kills Type 2 Herpes? Or that Toni & Guy products are translated into 5 different languages? But then, this randomly brilliant idea pops into my head: What would happen, if I sprayed Windex on an intensely hot lightbulb? Conveniently, I have a lamp that I leave on most of the time, that has an easily accessible lightbulb. So, I sprayed it.

The effects were really, really cool.

Because I leave it on all the time, that lightbulb was scaldingly hot. And when you put not hot liquid things on hot glass things, the hot glass things break!



But this was no ordinary break. it exploded. It made a loud popping noise, and glass shards flew into the air. Then there was a lot of smoke before the lightbulb burnt out.

The even cooler thing is the fact that only two glass shards shot out. And they were perfectly shaped tear drops. No jagged edges, just two perfect holes missing from that lightbulb.

SWORDS AND TEQUILA!!

Last night, my Mom asked me to download all of her CD's to our computer, so she could put them on her iPod. She gave me 18 CD's, most of which, I don't like. Except for Cat Stevens. Anyway, This took approximately 3 hours to do, because not only does my computer not enjoy downloading CD's, I was also really distracted. This was because my Dad got new CD's and kept talking at me about them. Not that I don't respect his opinion on 80's power rock, it's just, I've heard his "Music Speech" so many times that I just stop listening now. Anyway, he acquired "Fire Down Under" by Riot, a little known metal band from the Eighties. My Dad asked me to play "Swords and Tequila". I wasn't really sure what to expect from a song with a name like thatLyrt after listening to a few of his other favorite metal songs, I came to a few conclusions:

1. It doesn't matter if you're a good guitar player or not.

As long as you have cool effects, and annoyingly high solos, no one will know.

2. Lyrics are of least importance.

It's apparently acceptable to simply yell/sing phrases that have absolutely no meaning. Case in point: Swords and Tequila

Dirty city, dirty games,
Dirty women, dirty shames.
The life that you lead,
The chance that you took.
A shadow in the night,
On the line, you're hooked.
If you see us comin',
Don't you, run the other way.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the fight.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the fight.
Wait for the night to fall,
To plan their attack.
Fightin' songs, on parade, they march.
An army in black.
Killers without a cause,
Rebels with no name.
City's gone to the underground,
Caught in a deadly game.
If you see us comin',
Don't you, run the other way.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the fight.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the fight.
And I just don't mean kickin' ass.
If you see us comin',
Don't you, run the other way.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the fight.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through the night.
Swords and tequila,
Carry me through, carry me through the fight.


I don't really what connotations swords and tequila have in this song, but like I said, it doesn't matter. Preferably, all metal songs should have the word 'night' somewhere in there. If you've got that, the rest doesn't matter. Seriously, how exactly are swords and tequila going to "carry you through the night"? I have no idea. Actually, if you explain to me the true, deep meanings of this song, you are a genius, and you will be greatly rewarded... or something.

3. Eighties Metal songs should make you feel like you need to have bigger hair, high-waisted pants, a car, and loser boyfriend.

I can just imagine it. My name would be Candice, and I'd have really high-waisted-mom-type jeans, and my bangs would be sprayed up with a least half a can of hairspray, and the rest of my hair would be permed, and in a high pony-tail pulled up with a brightly colored scrunchie thing, and I'd have light blue eyeshadow, and blue mascara, and my hair would be bleached that yellow-white color, and I'd be wearing perfectly white tennis shoes, and thick red socks. And I'd be walking down to my loser-boyfriend's car, and he'd
say something like "Hey, you ready for that cool awesome party we're going to!?!?!??!?!?" And I'd be like "Yeah, well, you'd better be ready." Because it's the eighties. Nothing you say has to make sense. You can just sit there with youre enormous hair, and be happy that you got good tickets to The Scorpions concert. I mean, there was Regean, and AIDS, and the Soviet Union, but no one really cared. It was just you, your hair, and The Scorpions.

4. There isn't allowed to be any singing.

Yelling is more acceptable form of voicing the god-awful lyrics in most metal songs. This is part of the reason why lyrics don't matter; no one can hear you.

5. Album covers don't have to have anything to do with the album.

Have you ever seen an Iron Maiden album cover? Good. Don't. It will give you nightmares. I mean, I don't really think I understand how badass cover = badass music. If I wanted to, I could take CrimeWatch, draw a zombie foaming at the mouth with blood, and a raven in the background, but every time you listen to it, it's still going to be "Year After Year", which in case you were wondering, is ACTUALLY the worst song ever written. Unless you count "Lime Flies" by nine year old Nancy. Or anything written by U2. Or My Chemical Romance.


And while, 80's Power Rock, is pretty awful, there's part of me that likes it. It's like it's been programmed into me. I guess that's what happens to kids who memorized all of Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" album when they were nine.

Random Rants

1. My Brother Plays Second Life

So, this may not seem like a big deal, right? Well, it is. Second Life kind of freaks me out. I'm not really sure why, but I always get this creepy feeling in my stomach when people talk about Second Life. Not only that, but Wes is eleven. That's not very old, even though I expect him to act older. I don't know what types of people play second life, but I get this feeling people with meaningless real lives are the ones lurking around on Second Life. Also, Wes chose the “goth guy” appearance. (It's a choice on the appearance menu thing. I don't know what prompted this, but when I told him he should change it, he got all fussy at me. This Second Life business is also highly inconvenient for me, seeing as how my Dad hasn't figured out how to make the internet work in my room. So we have one computer with internet, and four people. Hopefully my Dad will break down and buy a router so that it will work anywhere in the house. But until then, I have to deal with Wes' gaming habits, which take a large chunk out of my internet time. This does not allow me to have adequate time to check facebook, gmail, and blog. Which is why this is my first post in a while. Anyway, this Second Life thing has to stop. He's got Runescape... isn't that enough? By the way, his name thing is Wesleyan Falls. On the Ridiculous-Scale this is second only to Grahamillionaire. Yes, I saw that comment from ten months ago on the A Million Ways video on YouTube. I saw that, you clever, young lad. :]

2. The “Al Pacino” Video Has Been Watched 2,036 Times

Once upon a time, while we were learning A Million Ways, we went to Samantha's Dad's house, out in the middle of nowhere. At this house, there was a dojo. I don't know why, but it was there. We thought it'd be cool to go there and refine the dance in a dojo, because... we could. And how many people have a house with an abandoned dojo? So, while at her Dad's house, we were playing Grand Theft Auto, and using laughable cheats, like the one that gives all the citizens dangerous weapons, and when you shoot them, they go insane, and everyone starts shooting everything. So there was this old lady in the game who had a machine gun, and she kept running into a wall, over and over, and then randomly turning around and shooting things. We found this quite hilarious. Later, back at Sarah's house, Gabbie started imitating the old lady. However, when she did it, it looked like Al Pacino, from Scarface. We then broke out into this argument, fueled mis-wordings, and mis-hearings, that was eventually just ten minutes of us screaming about Al Pacino... and Tim Nordwind... Luckily, we happened to film the whole thing. Being the cool people we are, we put it on YouTube. We really didn't show everyone we knew or link it anywhere. So then, while I was bored and looking at our YouTube videos, I stumble upon it, and look at it's views: TWO THOUSAND AND THIRTY SIX. Collectively, people have watched that video more times than days I've gone to school my whole life. It's really not that funny, unless you're one of us, or you know us really well. And it's pretty stupid, and pointless, yet a thousand people found it necessary to watch it. I'm simultaneously amazed and disgusted. Please don't go watch it. I'm asking you not to. It's like the summer of eighth grade. We're not cool. Especially not me.


3. Jeff Foxworthy's “You Might Be a Redneck If....” Board Game

As I believe I've already stated, I'm really not a huge fan of Jeff Foxworthy. And by that I mean, I hate him. There's something about his smirk, and his stupid head-bobbing type walk, and his perfectly shaped mustache that makes me want to remove all of his veins, and braid them. I also am not a “big fan” of redneck type humor. It just reminds me too much of my family. I would like to forget that I'm related to those people. Also, I have never found anything he has ever said to be mildly amusing. Ever. Not to mention, he hosts one of the Worst Game Shows On Television. So, when my brother opened up the Jeff Foxworthy's“You Might Be A Redneck If...” Board Game, I died a little inside. Wes and I gave each other the “I don't know what the hell this is” look, and he set it to the side, and I removed it from my memory. A few days ago, however, out of pure curiosity, I opened up the box, to see what was inside. Apparently, the goal of the game is to collect a lawnchair, a hound, and other redneck paraphernalia as you move around the board. In order to move spaces, you must correctly finish one a “You might be a redneck if...” sentences. For instace:

You might be a redneck if birds are attracted to your...

A) Yard
B) Pickup
C) Beard


The answer is C.

Another thing about this game is the box has Jeff Foxworthy's sneering, smirking face, that looks as though he's thinking “That's right, Adrienne. You can't win.” On top of all of this, the box says that it is for ages sixteen and up. I'm not even sixteen yet. I better not touch that box. Aside from the fact that I really don't ever want to have the need to.

100 Things.

Christmas has come and gone, and so have my Grandparents, so I should be going back to my erratic blogging schedule.


And here is my Christmas present to you:

One Hundred Things You Probably Don't Know About Adrienne Louise Pressnall:

1. Vietnamese is my least favorite language to hear spoken.
2. I own a studded belt, and I wear it a lot.
3. I have a pet peeve about people making slimy sounds with their mouths.
4. I used to think Apple Computers were stupid, because they didn't play normal computer games.
(I was 10.)
5. I went through a major Green Day phase. I still have a lot of random Green Day knowledge
lodged in my brain like: Trè Cool's real name is Frank Edwin Wright III. I don't like to talk
about it. It's like colon cancer: you just don't talk about it.
6. I own a Panic! At The Disco, and a Green Day t-shirt, and I wear them a lot to sleep.
7. I don't eat any type of seafood.
8. I really like avocados.
9. I tell my brother all my problems, and my friend's problems. I've probably told him about you.
10.I don't wear shirts with skulls on them.
11.My favorite color is emerald green, but I think real emeralds are tacky in most jewelry.
12.I think Tim Burton is attractive. I've failed to figure out why.
I am personally, completely in love with Jim Halpert. Not John Krazinski, but the character he
plays. The closer you are to being like Jim, the more I love you.
13.I've been to 14 different countries, and 15 different states.
14.I'm the only person in the history of Oxala (Pearce's literary magazine) to score a perfect 30 on
my writing.
15.I actually buy most of my music.
16.I own Juicy Couture perfume.
17.I didn't know the term 'the shit' had a positive connotation until like, 8th grade.
18.I really like the movie Corpse Bride.
19.I don't like Kohl's because each and every time I go there, and I try on clothes, so old lady
walks in on me. I am really not kidding. I never, ever go to Kohl's because of this.
20.I wish I played saxophone.
21.I've recently decided I want to be a writer when I get older.
22.I know how to knit.
23.My favorite words are as follows: hypothetically, theoretically, superfluous, nonsense, negatory,
exasperation, scandalous, horrendous, egregious, erroneous, gregarious, dilemma, and folderol.
24.In 4th grade my absolute favorite movie ever was: Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.
25.I can't draw things with legs.
26.I'm pretty good at painting.
27.I took piano for eight years.
28.I can eat onions by themselves, unless they're really, really strong.
29.I have an unjustifiable grudge against North Dakota.
30.I can't stand white chocolate.
31.I don't like Tootsie Rolls.
32.Easter is my favorite holiday.
33.If I could pick any nationality to be, it would either be Russian or Brazilian.
34.I've thought about dyeing my hair brown. Luckily I got that idea out of my head.
35.I spend at least 20 minutes on my makeup ever day.
36.I always spell interest like 'intrest', and exist like 'exsist'.
37.I don't know anything about guitars or how to play them.
38.I seem to find myself going to public places in ridiculous clothing. I don't usually plan it. It just
sort of happens.
39.I really hate it when people spell 'yeah' like 'yea'.
40.In seventh grade, I would end all my sentences on AIM with double punctuation. Like: Are you
going school tomorrow??
41.I have 82 Beanie Babies.
42.I once sprayed “Goof Off” (paint remover) on my Mom's tomatoes, and she got really mad at
me, and then started to cry.
43.I like the way the Library smells.
44.I don't like cards from card stores.
45.I don't like Pizza Hut.
46.I have a lot of knives in random places in my room. For no real reason.
47.I watch a lot of Podcasts about different hairstyles.
48.I'm right-handed, but I do everything else on my left side better.
49.I want a really big, extravagant, frilly wedding.
50.I really hate the color orange. Especially the Crayola marker orange.
51.I can be really loud and obnoxious, especially when I'm tired.
52.I'm bad at saving money.
53.I like books about bitchy girls who have unfathomable amounts of money, and do ridiculous
things.
54.I have a strong moral fiber.
55.My sweat is more acidic than most people's.
56.George Winston is my favorite piano player. Seriously, he's amazing and writes all of his own
music.
57.I like anything with lace.
58.I'm very particular about the way our Christmas tree looks. Handmade and novelty ornaments
are not allowed.
59.I can't tie bows the normal way. I have to use “bunny ears”.
60.I hate Celine Dion's voice.
61.I like getting my nails done.
62.I'm awkward when it comes to talking to superiors.
63.I hate asking for help from people.
64.I have this candle that's strawberry shortcake flavored, and it smells way too sweet, and when
even when your two feet away from it and its unlit, it's sickening saccharine odor gives you a
headache. I don't know why I haven't moved it out of my room yet.
65.I think it'd be really cool to drive an out-of-commission ambulance.
66.When I was nine, I wanted to live in a three story house, and own six Great Danes.
67.I get really defensive when people say things like “I can name all of the Transformers:
Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Jazz, Ironhide, Bonecrusher, Scorpinok, Megatron,
Starscream, Barricade, and Soundwave.” Or people that didn't know what Transformers were
before the movie came out.
68.I kind of wish I was a vampire.
69.I use the thesaurus all the time.
70.I respect good accordion players.
71.I like watching glass blowers.
72.I'm a little bit incompetent at using Microsoft computers.
73.I pay a lot of attention to people's teeth. If I've talked to you for longer than 30 seconds, I'll
always remember what your teeth look like, and be able to describe them.
74.My favorite Disney movie is “101 Dalmatians”. It's also one of my favorite books. (It was a
book before it was a movie, obviously.)
75.“Alice In Wonderland” is my favorite fairy-tale-type book.
76.I like the way saxophone reeds taste, but not the way clarinet reeds taste.
77.I've taken my lunch to school every day since the beginning of third grade.
78.On long vacations, or during the summer, I see how long I can go without changing my shirt.
79.I don't listen to bands that don't have at least one of the following: piano, synthesizer, violin, or cello.
80.I have a lot nick names for my brother: Shorty, Chico, Superman, Wessie, Loserface, Dream
Crusher, Sweetheart, Darling, etc.
81.I like handheld pencil sharpeners.
82.When I was eight, we went to Grapevine Mills Mall, and we were going to go to the Rainforest
Cafe, and I saw the robot crocodile outside of the restaurant, and was so terrified of it, that I
actually ran away into Forever 21, and hid in the store and cried for an hour. Eventually, my
Mom found me, calmed me down, and somehow, got me into the cafe. From then on, I've been
pretty freaked out by that thing.
83.I can eat hoards of Oreos.
84.My normal voice has melded with my sarcastic voice, so sometimes I don't even know if I 'm
being sarcastic or not.
85.I want to go to Singapore.
86.If I could have one super power, it would be to stop time.
87.I've recently discovered the usefulness of liquid eyeliner.
88.My name anagrams to: Resend all rain pens.
89.Winter is my favorite season.
90.I've only been to emergency room once. (Little kid + running + sharp pencil = sharp lead lodged
in my eye.)
91.I love sparkly things.
92.Today, I only left my room three times. I was watching “The Office: Season 3” and my goal
was to finish the whole thing in one day. But then I started this.
93.I'm simultaneously disgusted by, and infatuated with, The 80's.
94.I like sunflowers and Gerber daisies.
95.Looking up at tall buildings gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.
96.I have freckles on my knees.
97.I'm very sensitive to most extreme mint/cinnamon gum and mints.
98.I get really good ideas that I'm not very good at implementing, and then end up with a lot of half
finished projects.
99.I really hate this: <3 and this: XD.
100. I can think of a hundred things people don't know about me.

Things I Shouldn't Have Said #3

Mr. Blankenship: So, according to your shirt, you love Optimus Prime. Do you really love Optimus Prime?
Me: Uh... YEAH.
Mr. B: Hmm... really...
Me: Do you love Optimus Prime?
Mr. B: No, not really.
Me: Who is your favorite Transformer then?
Mr. B: Well, there aren't any girl Transformers, so I guess I don't have a favorite.
Me: Yeah there is!
Mr. B: Well, I don't remember her name.
Me: It's Overide.
Mr. B: Okay, yeah well, there's only ONE. She must really get around. I mean all those guy Transformers... and you know...

(Yes, that was a coversation about Robot Sex that I had with my metrosexual band director.)

"COACH D, I'M DYING INSIDE BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE UNCAPITALIZED TITLES! PLEASE, THINGS LIKE THAT ANNOY ME TO A NEW LEVEL!"

Never Kill Love

As expected, I didn't go to school today. It's just a tad hard to pay attention when your ribs feel like they're being stabbed from the inside with a shovel. However, it's incredibly boring here. Not that I expected it would be a bucket of thrills, or anything, I just miss talking to people. I mean, occasionally Caitlan or Sarah will text me, but that hardly quantifies as talking to them. Then after school, my Mom gets all mad at me for calling my friends. It's not like it hurts to talk. Well... yes it does. But not as bad as it hurts to cough. So, this morning, after I woke up, I spent about 2 hours coming up with names for awful bands. I pretty much decided that you can make a terrible screamo band name from just a few specific nouns and adjectives.

Let me explain:

Pick your first initial:

A-Severed
B-Young
C-Forever
D-My
E-Forced
F-Always
G-Never
H-Dead
I-Decayed
J-Your
K-Because
L- Decadent
M-Vicious
N-Buried
O-Broken
P-Accursed
Q- Fucking
R-Silent
S-Unprovoked
T-Condemned
U-Duplicated
V- Scarred
W-Serrated
X-Malignant
Y-Forgotten
Z-Remembered


Now pick the first letter of your last name:

A-Glass
B-Guns
C-Swords
D- Daggers
E- Chains
F- Hounds
G-Spikes
H- Axes
I-Birds
J-Hawks
K- Wolves
L-Bottles
M-Death
N-Zombies
O-Vampires
P-Hearts
Q-Crime
R-Love
S-Scars
T-Time
U-Knowledge
V- Novembers
W- Days
X-Vessels
Y-Disasters
Z-Apocalypse


Now pick the last letter of your last name:

A- Die
B- Live
C-Lie
D-Sink
E-Betray
F-Burn
G-Bleed
H-Destroy
I-Lie Awake
J- Fall Asleep
K-Remain
L- Collide
M-Slaughter
N-Kill
O-Regret
P- Fall
Q- Lie
R- Devour
S- Collapse
T-Feel
U- Rot
V-Degenerate
W-Annihilate
X-Massacre
Y-Sabotage
Z- Perish

Now, take those words, rearrange them, change the tenses, make them plural or singular, add conjunctions and articles, and there you have it! Your very own horrendous screamo band name. Mine is “Severed Hearts Collide”. Or, if you don't like your initials, just choose any word from the three lists.


Hmm. Well...

I'm going to go do the math homework that was due Monday.

An Unexpected Unpleasantry.

Well, I've officially had the most awful day ever.

It started out nice and early this morning at 5:00 a.m. I had got up that morning with the intent of getting bagels for the clarinet section (because I conveniently missed sectionals last time). After my shower, I was getting dressed, when I started to cough. If you've been round me recently, you know that my “coughs” are more like thunderous bellows in which you can hear the crackle of mucus that has lined my lungs. It's been going on like this for quite a while, so when my cough explosion started, it wasn't very out of the ordinary. Until, that is, I felt a big pop near the bottom of my rib cage. It felt like I had coughed so hard that something had moved. This is when the fun starts. After buckling over in pain, I called for my Mom to help me back into bed. I explained my dilemma, and continued to writhe in pain. This went on for a good ten minutes, until my Mom gave me some Advil. She then arranged for me to see Dr. Myint. With a lot of luck, I was able to fall asleep. When I woke up, my Mom helped me get out of my bed and into the car. (It's ridiculously painful to move my torso muscles, or cough). When we arrived at Dr. Myint's office, I had the pleasure of sitting in his waiting room. Remember, I'm still in excruciating pain, and every time I cough, I twitch, and whimper, and everybody looks at me as though I have the plague. I then was half-carried into the examination room by my Mom, and weakly laid down on the table. After the nurse checked my temperature, and pulse, Dr. Myint came in and proceeded to check my lungs, liver, kidney, etc. He obviously noticed my flinching and wincing when he tested my ribs, but when me pushed on my kidneys, it caused an unexpected sharp, stabbing pain. But since it was clear the pain was centered around my ribs, he kind of ignored that. He told my Mom and I that we should go get an x-ray, and go from there. My Mom filled out what seemed to be an eternity of paperwork, and then we were on our way to get my x-ray. While in the waiting room for the x-ray at the hospital, I overheard a rather loud conversation about Microsoft computers:

Technologically Incompetent Secretary (TIS): Hey, David, I'm thinking about upgrading my computer. What do you think is the best one to get.?
Conveniently Present Guy Who Happens To Be A Computer Salesman (David): Well, that depends on if you're running Vista or XP.
TIS: Uh... I think my computer is something called Windows 98 or something.
David: Oh, well, then you're going to want to upgrade.
TIS: Upgrade what?
David: Your Operating System
TIS: What's that?
David: It's the main.. thing on your computer. You know when you start up your computer, and it says Windows 98, or whatever?
TIS: So, if I upgrade my Operating System, will my computer run better.
David: Yes, theoretically.
TIS: Ohhh. Okay. Well, what should I upgrade to?
David: That depends on whether you're using your computer for business, or just as a home computer. If you're using if for business, I would go with XP, because they haven't made many programs supported by Vista yet. But if you're just using it for a home computer, I would go ahead and buy Vista, because there isn't a huge difference between Vista and XP aside from the software.
TIS: Well, I guess I'll be using it at home. That means I have to get XP right?
David: ...No, I said you should get Vista.
TIS: Oh... Can you add extra memory to Vista?
David: ... Well, you can add extra memory to your computer.
TIS: Okay, good. Is Vista really like the commercials? Do I have to “authorize” everything?
David: Well, you can change the settings so that it doesn't if you don't want it to.
TIS: So like, if I go to Myspace, and I tell it to authorize, will it stay authorized, or do I have to authorize it every time?
David: Uh, no. It only asks you to authorize things on your system, like if you put in a CD, it asks if you want to install it.
TIS: Well, I wouldn't have put it in there in the first place if I didn't want to install it.
David: Well, there could be other options, like it could be a music CD, or a blank CD, and it would ask you what you want to do with it.
TIS: Okay... So, how much would a computer that would work well for me be?
David: If you really want a nice upgradable computer that will run well, I'd say about between $800 and $1000 dollars.
TIS: WHAT?!?!?
David: Well, I mean you can get a lower end computer that doesn't run as well for about $400.
TIS: But I can add memory right?
David: Sure.. but...
TIS: Is it easy to add memory?
David: Um, kind of...?

Then my name was called to go get my x-ray.

That was possibly the most aggravating conversation to listen to. That stupid secretary kept asking about adding memory, as if that would somehow help her, and make her look smarter. And that poor man. He was just trying to help this lady be knowledgeable about computers, and he got trapped in this monstrosity of a dialogue.

Anyway,

I changed out of my clothes into a glamourous hospital gown, and stepped into a scary x-ray room. Larry, the guy doing my x-ray, seemed really irritable, and persnickety, and talked to me as if I was senile. After the x-ray, we were led to a room with a phone, which the radiologist was supposed to call when he got the results. My Mom answered the phone, and the radiologist told my Mom the most annoying results ever: Nothing. My x-ray was clean.

I was mad at this point. I had to go through all this pain for... nothing? I mean, I figured that it would at least be fractured or displaced or SOMETHING. But no, now it just looks like I'm making the whole thing up.

So I'm convinced all my ribs are broken, and the x-ray didn't pick it up. (Rib cage things do have a hard time of being recognized.)

In the mean time, I'm supposed to take a shitload of painkillers, and keep heat on my side.

Which leaves me here, ranting about the worst day ever.

It's just a bunch of malarkey if you ask me.